From further reading of this article, it seems the “Bathroom Bill” as it is being called, has passed in the House of Commons by a narrow margin. The controversial legislation reinforces the rights of transgendered people to use whatever bathroom they see fit. Gendered bathrooms are being regarded as “old-school” and “traditional” but is this a tradition worth keeping?

The bathroom is the one place we women go to do all those things we know that men know we do, but we don’t want them to see us doing, hear us doing or smell us doing. And worse, do we want to see, hear and smell all that men do in the bathroom? Not me!

Let me play the devil’s advocate for a minute. I understand the need to be inclusive so that everyone, no matter how they identify, can use the bathroom they choose, but is this bill putting everyone at risk?

Do we now need to worry about being hit on in the washroom? Remember when the bathroom was the place you went to get away from someone you weren’t interested in? Now, he or she will just follow you in and continue annoying you.

What about safety? Does this open the door to rapists and other misogynistic types luring in unisex bathrooms looking for their next victim? And what about children? Do you want your little girl in a bathroom with a grown man?

Take this short poll to share your comfort level with the idea of unisex bathrooms. Then share your thoughts about this bill. I’d love to hear what you have to say.

For a moment, I allowed someone else’s frustrations with their work life to make me question myself and my worth.  This person not only challenged my loyalty to him and the organization but he also expressed his doubts about my knowledge, skills and abilities to do my job.

I was very upset at his comments and started to second guess whether or not I really was capable of doing the job. I started to go to that place where my negative self-image lives–that padlocked place that holds all the doubts I have about myself and that safe-keeps all the disparaging comments that others have felt the need to share with me over the course of a 45-year lifetime. I am sure you know the ones I am talking about. Your mother telling you how lucky you are to be smart because you aren’t pretty. Or your father saying you don’t have the head for numbers so you better marry well. Or your friends reminding you that you are size 14 when they are all size 2, as if you could forget that! You can’t cook, you are too loud, your feet are too big, your breasts are you too small and you are a terrible lover. Yes, those comments that could repeat endlessly in your head and eat away at any self-esteem you may have.

I allowed that spirit-sapping recording to meander through my head and my mood got worse. I was wallowing in self-pity and would have drowned in it if not for a coworker. This coworker had never seen me anything but positive and upbeat and was upset that I was upset. She didn’t ask me what happened, only because the entire office had heard the exchange, but she sat on the edge of my desk, adopted the most serious face she could and said, “Barbados 2010!” before breaking into suppressed laughter.

For the past 5 years I have been saying “Barbados 2010″ because a significant part of Plan B is to live in a tropical country where I never have to deal with cold and snow again. No, I’m not Barbadian, I’m Jamaican. But I fell in love with the island and like that it is easy to navigate, is economically stable and is one of the more progressive island in the Caribbean. These two words were all I needed to hear to put his man and his misguided opinions about me and my abilities into perspective. Within seconds I was grinning from ear-to-ear and within minutes I was taking steps to make my Plan B into Plan A.

I have never been the consummate employee.  I have walked away from many jobs because they didn’t fit what I wanted in my life at the time. This job is no different. While I enjoy what I do and I really like my coworkers, at the end of the day, it is just a  job, a pay cheque. And worse, it is someone telling me what time to show up, what time to leave, how they think I should behave and ultimately, telling me what I’m worth by what they pay me. My worth is priceless and this encounter reminded me of that.

My first step was to book a flight to Barbados for two weeks of alone time to put my Plan B into action. The other part of Plan B is to use my newly acquired Bachelor of Education, Adult Education, and my soon to be completed Masters degree, to do the thing that I am most passionate about–teaching, but teaching on my terms and from my own company. I know it is going to take time and money to turn B to A but by taking coordinated action steps and by using the power of my thoughts there will be no more employee status in my future! And it’s working.  I’ve already attracted four new friends with business and educational ties to Barbados, including the Consul General of Barbados. I’ve got meetings scheduled during my visit and a realtor looking at both residential and commercial property. I’m on my path to Barbados 2010. My Plan B is finally moving from backup to reality.

“He who fails to plan, plans to fail.” unknown author

“Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now.” Alan Lakein

These are interesting times.

C. Carol Brown

From left to right: Dr. Dennis P. Kimbro, Curlie McCalla, C. Carol Brown (me), Dr. Vibe

Recently, I was fortunate enough to meet Dr. Dennis P. Kimbro, author of Think and Grow Rich: A Black Choice. What amazed me about him was his humility, his warmth, approachability and his total lack of ego. Let me paint you a picture of this amazing man.  

He received his B.A. and M.A. degrees from the University of Oklahoma, and a doctorate from Northwestern University where he studied wealth and poverty among underdeveloped countries. He is a tireless educator, author, and B-school professor and is universally characterized as one of the most insightful and scholarly writers in the field today. 

Dr. Kimbro studied the methodology of Napoleon Hill, author of the phenomenal best seller Think and Grow Rich. Using Think and Grow Rich as a reference, Dr. Kimbro decided to do what Hill had done in the 1930′s. He developed a survey to use among peak performing Black Americans. Two years later, he learned from the foundation bearing Hill’s name that, Hill himself, had drafted a book in 1970 that explored the identical question. Moreover, Hill had written nearly one hundred pages on the subject, which turned out to be his last. After a personal meeting with W. Clement Stone, president of the Napoleon Hill Foundation, Dr. Kimbro was commissioned to update and complete Hill’s original manuscript. Think and Grow Rich: A Black Choice, the results of Dr. Kimbro’s and Hill’s efforts, distills the secrets of success contained in the lives of peak performing men and women, and reveals how readers can utilize these keys to make their dreams come true. 

I first read Think and Grow Rich: A Black Choice in 1998 when I lived in Vancouver. I was amazed at the concept of using my mind to control everything in my life, especially my finances. Unfortunately, like most people, I was too deeply embroiled in life’s daily drudgery to truly embrace these  ideas and use them to change. Over the next few years, I reread Think and Grow Rich: A Black Choice four times–each time finding something new in the book that I could apply to my life but didn’t.  It wasn’t until 2006 when  a friend suggested I watch The Secret that Dr. Kimbro’s book and its connection to the Law of Attraction finally click in my head and I started to use those principles to change my life. 

And then I met Dr. Kimbro in person and my life changed again. He had just walked into the room where he was to give his address and before he even had his coat off, I was standing in front of him introducing myself and asking him to be my mentor. Without skipping a beat, he agreed to mentor me and then asked me a series of questions about what I wanted and why I wanted it.  His questions helped me to formulated what I wanted to do with my life–something that I thought I was unclear about–but when I started to tell him, it came out of my mouth as if a well rehearsed speech. Before he gave his address, he ensured that we exchanged contact information and hugged me with the warmth and familiarity of a dear friend. 

Fortunately I am a believer in life-long learning. Dr. Kimbro taught me a number of things that night. I learned not to be average. I learned that I’m too sharp to fail. I learned that I really do have the power to change my reality just by the thoughts that I hold in my mind. I learned to ask for what I want and more times than not, I get it, so I’m careful to only ask for things that are going to make me happy, healthy and wealthy. I learned that things happen the way they are supposed to whether you worry about them or not, so why worry. I learned to be humble and to not let my ego get in the way of good relationships or happiness.  And the most important thing I learned from Dr. Kimbro is that life is too short not to pursue your dreams. 

Since Dr. Kimbro has come into my life, I’ve reread Think and Grow Rich: A Black Choice (the fifth time really is a charm!) and I’m following the road map. I’m focused on being happier and I worry a whole lot less. But most of all I’m focused on my dreams and every day I’m taking steps towards seeing them come true.  

My mentor is teaching me to be the best me I can be. I think I’m ready to learn that lesson, finally .

Many of the pressures adolescents have always faced are intensified in this new world. Some factors contributing to this intensification include: more divorced families, chemical addictions, casual sex and violence against women. The media has played a large part in this by sexualizing and objectifying women’s bodies to sell everything from cars to wart remover. Soft and hard-core pornography is everywhere. Music videos, videos games, magazines, and advertisements all promote their products at the detriment of females and as a result, sexual and physical assaults on women are at an all-time high. The beating of Rihanna by Chris Brown is a recent example. After all the consciousness-raising work done in the sixties during the women’s movement, girls should be more confident and liberated, but instead they are more vulnerable and fearful than ever before.

Boys face new challenges too. They constantly have to prove their manhood through violence against girls and through bolder crimes to capture the “bling bling” that indicates status in a world obsessed with material possessions. The time of settling disputes with fists has become passé and now any confrontation, no matter how insignificant, could cost someone their life. Toting a gun or knife is the new norm as is belonging to a gang. And there seems to be a total disregard for life as is evident in the stabbing of a Scarborough man in a bus shelter by a 10-year-old who was told to stop kicking the glass. Boys should be more in touch with their “feminine side” in light of their changing roles in society but instead they are more feared and volatile than ever before.

Parents are facing new challenges as well in this new world. More children are attempting suicide, have eating disorders, alcohol problems, sexually transmitted diseases, self-inflicted injuries, strange phobias, and post traumatic stress reactions to sexual or physical assaults. Parents struggle to raise their children to value themselves as whole people but the media reduces them to bodies usual accompanied by the price of a positive self-image. And in a time of drive-by shootings, date rape, herpes, AIDS and home invasions, parents are feeling like failures because they are unable to protect their children.

The world has become a poisoned environment.

There are many factors to blame for the way the world is currently but the media is the biggest culprit for the spiral of society into degradation. Music videos deceive youth with images of lifestyles that are complete with fancy cars, half-naked men and women, sexual lyrics and scenes, palatial homes, obscene amounts of money, enormous pieces of jewelry, and expensive clothing. The Canadian Radio and Television Corporation has relaxed its regulations which now means that offence words such as “ass” or “bitch” or “pissed” are played on the radio or said on television where once they were bleeped. The American programs that proliferate Canadian culture are bereft of appropriate ratings and often contain offensive language and inappropriate subject matter, which appear without warning. The ratings of PG or 14A vary so widely that you are never sure what is appropriate viewing for adolescents.

The ways the media have dehumanized sex and fostered violence should be a topic of debate in an international forum. The regulations need to be tightened to protect our children and maybe the question of censorship needs to be reintroduced in a public referendum. The world’s governments should work together to develop a policy to promote quality and diverse programming and to protect society and individual citizens from the harmful effects of television.

The average teen watches almost 100 hours of television per week. Parents need to watch television with their children to help them interpret the media because this offers parents many opportunities for raising consciousness.

Parents need to model the respect and equality that they want their children to experience in the world. It is said that you teach people how to treat you so if parents teach their children that only respect and equality is acceptable then children will come to expect that anything less is unacceptable.

Parents also need to have good communication with adolescents in order to encourage rational thought, centered decision and conscious choices.

Society needs to redefine manhood to allow women equality and men pride. The world needs new ways to teach boys to be men. Through the media and advertising, boys are being taught all the wrong lessons. Boys need a model of manhood that excludes violence, misogyny and the objectification of women.

All is not totally lost yet. There are some things that are working. Schools and workplaces now offer clear harassment policies that protect students and employees and establish norms for appropriate conduct. Schools also have anti-bullying programs that are working to protect our children. Our federal and provincial Human Rights legislation also offer some protection.

Change will not happen overnight but we can and should be working together towards creating a better future with healthier, happier, better-adjusted children. Changing the way the media communicates with our children is a step in the right direction. Take the first step by turning off the television and radio more often.

 The main things that kids learn from television are addictions, violence and sexuality. - Ralph Nader

These are interesting times.

C. Carol Brown

Don’t get me wrong. I am thrilled that people are still committed to the institution of marriage especially the younger generation. They seem to hold hope that they won’t join the 51 per cent of couples who get divorced. I’ll borrow some famous words from Jesse Jackson, “Keep hope alive!”

The minister, at the wedding I attended recently, spoke eloquently about the keys to a successful marriage being the need for the couple to trust, respect, support and most important, for them to be able to forgive each other for transgressions that will undoubtedly occur.  As he said those words, I could see some of the married folks shifting uncomfortably in their seats–except of course for those who obviously were recently married and those who have been married so long they stopped counting the years. The newly weds were holding hands and beaming at each like lovesick teenagers and the long married couples were holding hands as a sign of quiet reinforcement. By the end of the evening, the newly wedded couples could be heard talking about renewing their vows while some of the not-as-long-married folks were arguing about why their wedding wasn’t as beautiful, or arguing about who is drinking too much, or throwing the minister’s words back and forth at each other like poisonous darts.

And the single people were the most vulnerable. If they came with their significant others they continuously fielded the “So, when are you two getting married?” question. Of course it came in all its various forms, “I guess that makes you two next.”, “He hasn’t asked you yet?!” and the famous “So, what are you waiting for?” The poor dears! Then to make matters worse, they line up all the single men and women and have them fight to catch the garter and bridal bouquet–as if they were truly prizes–because now all eyes are on you and so is the pressure to be “next”.

And therein lies the danger. It’s in the illusion and the expectations it creates for the guests. We are meant to buy in to the specialness of the moment  and to believe that we too can find Mr. or Miss Right and have the fairytale wedding. Reality though is a bitch with PMS. Most women pass a certain age won’t get married especially since we outnumber men almost 3 to 1 these days. And if you are a Black woman, your odds increase to 5 to 1 if your spouse has to be a Black man. I won’t go into all the reasons for that in this particular post but watch for it soon. And so while garters and bouquets are thrown around to give you some luck, your odds don’t get any better and the illusion is still just that.

I’ll admit that the wedding was beautiful and if I had not flown solo, I too might have fallen under the magical spell and looked at my date with “marry me” eyes. The couple looked truly happy and it wasn’t hard to hold hope that they will be among the 49 per cent that make it to “until death do us part”.

At the end of the day, we must go forward with hope and not backward by fear and division. – Jesse Jackson

These are interesting times.

C. Carol Brown

I was fortunate enough to wake up before regret set in. I learned something about myself with the dissolution of this relationship. I learned that I am a survivor. That I can love deeply and still walk away if my best interests and my needs are not being met–and not just this particular relationship but unhealthy familial and friendship ones as well.

So now I’ve got my life back and have decided to make it the best life I can live.  I’m exercising, eating healthier, spending time with family and friends, and I’m taking things off my back burner and giving them the time and attention they deserve. For example, I’ve pulled out the book I should have  been working on and started writing again. I’m committed to completing this book by June 2010 and without having to worry about spending time with the boyfriend, I may actually get this done.

Don’t get me wrong. I do miss the companionship and having sex on the regular, but all the other drama I can really do without.  It requires too much time–time that I could use towards pursuing my goals. I almost feel as if I’ve lost 100 pounds! Actually it’s only 18 pounds, but I feel as if I been given a new lease on life and I really don’t want to blow it this time because when I’m standing at the pearly gates and I’m asked what I did with the talents I was given, I want to be able to rhyme off a list so long they have to stop me ’cause I’m holding up the line!

What about you?  What have you put on the back burner that needs to become a priority?  What talents are you not using? What are you going to say when you are standing at the pearly gates?

The only limits in our life are those we impose on ourselves. – Bob Proctor

These are interesting times.

C. Carol Brown

I ride the GO Train into work every day. I am constantly amazed at the number of people fidgeting with iPods, MP3 players, Blackberries and other electronic devices. I often wonder if the world has gotten so addicted to technology that we can’t survive even the short GO Train ride without being plugged in or if we all suffer from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and we can’t just enjoy the scenery and silence and just be one with ourselves and the universe. What happened to using that quiet time to plan our day, reflect on pass actions, and connect with whatever spirit we believe in? 

On a recent trip to work, I decided to take along my laptop so that I could get caught up on an assignment. Working on the assignment meant having to read a lengthy article online then respond to a variety of questions. The section that I sat in had two other people both of whom were also engaged in some form of study. I thought this would be good as it seemed unlikely that there would be noisy interruptions from cell phones ringing or sounds seeping from headphones. A rather rotund woman sat down beside me. Once she got comfortable, she fished around in her bag and pulled out an iPod and headphones. I said a silent prayer that she wouldn’t be one of those music lovers who had to play their music so loudly that the entire train could hear the music beyond the headphones. I don’t think I prayed hard enough! Not only was her music loud, it was heavy metal which meant lots of screeching and yelling. The other two people in our section both looked at her and at me. I tried to ignore her but after 10 minutes of this cacophony going on in my head I finally tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to turn it down. She looked at me, blinked and removed her earbud. “What?” she said. I calmly repeated my request for her to turn it down. She said, “If I turn it down any further I won’t be able to hear it.” She stuck the earbud back into her ear, leaned back and closed her eyes.

If the train hadn’t been standing room only, I would have changed seats and gone on with my studying but as there were people standing in the aisle and I really neeed to get my studying done, I tapped her on the shoulder, waited for her to remove the earbud and said, “The idea of headphones is to contain the music so that it doesn’t disturb others. Your music is disturbing me and anyone within earshot. I am attempting to study and would really appreciate you turning your music down.” She looked at me said “no” and started to replace the earbud when the young man in our section spoke up. He being of the Y Generation was not as polite as I was trying to be. He used a string of profanity to get his point across which seemed to inspire the other Yers to speak up as well. Then a few others spoke up and I thought for a second that the mob mentality was going to take over and this woman would be beaten to within an inch of her life. The evil twin in me wanted her beaten for disturbing my studying but the good twin realized that that would not be a good outcome for anyone.

After a barrage of comments from the folks on the train the woman removed her headphones, turned off her iPod and in the snarkiest voice she could muster asked me if I was satisfied. I wanted to explain that all of this could have been avoided if she had been more respectful of those around her but I just smiled and said, “Yes, I am.” I mouthed a thanks to those who had supported me and continued with my studying though I was disturbed by the whole situation.

I thought, what is it about having rights that makes people behave so badly? Why do people not see that with those rights come responsibilities? And why do they not make as big a fuss about their responsibilities as they do about their rights? I thought that the advent of technology was to make our lives better—expose us to other cultures and ideas—but all I can see is how it removes us from each other and lessens our humanity. The quiet times we used to have for reflection is now filled with music, news, and other informational noise. It means the brain is being deluged and doesn’t have the time to rest and rejuvenate. We don’t take the time to consider our place and how our actions, whether big of small, impact the world in which we live as is evident by the extinction of plants and animals, the holes in the ozone layer, the melting of the icecaps and how little work I got done that morning on the GO Train.

I was unhappy with my thoughts about humanity and what the behaviours of the woman and the others on the train showed me. I wanted to say  “Shhhh! A little silence please!” to the whole world. Then I remembered that Earth Day is coming up and smiled that just for that moment, there will be silence.

Soon silence will have passed into legend.  Man has turned his back on silence.  Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation…tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding, and trilling bolster his ego.  His anxiety subsides.  His inhuman void spreads monstrously like a gray vegetation.  – Jean Arp

These are interesting times.

C. Carol Brown

I was on the subway when two 17-year-old girls got on the train.  They started talking in the excited way that teenaged girls do about an upcoming school trip which would take them overnight to Chicago. It was a normal enough conversation about what they were going to  see and do, who else was going on the trip and how excited they were, except that every second or third word was an expletive. The entire conversation was peppered with them just as adjectives might be thrown in to paint a more brilliant description to a listener.

Of course, my initial reaction was surprise, then shock, then disappointment. To say the least, I was relieved when they finally exited the train as I’m sure a few other adults were.  Now I’m no prude, and I myself use the odd expletive from time-to-time, but this was blatant misuse!

I know that in today’s society, rappers and other singers use profanity in their music and I know that the Y generation uses profanity nonchalantly as a means of expression, but does that make it okay?

In early childhood, crying is an acceptable way to show emotion and relieve stress and anxiety. As children, (especially boys) grow up, Western society discourages them from crying, particularly in public. People still need an outlet for strong emotions, and that’s where swearing often comes in.

A lot of people think of swearing as an instinctive response to something painful and unexpected (like hitting your thumb with a hammer) or something frustrating and upsetting (like being stuck in traffic on the way to a job interview). This is one of the most common uses for swearing, and it may help to relieve stress and blow off steam, much like crying does for small children.

But swearwords aren’t quite as simple as they seem. They are paradoxical — saying them is taboo in nearly every culture, but instead of avoiding them as with other taboos, people use them. People swear for a number of reasons and in a variety of situations. Swearing also serves multiple purposes in social interactions and the use of particular expletives can help to establish a group identity, or membership in a group and maintain the group’s boundaries, express solidarity with other people, express trust and intimacy, add humour, emphasis or “shock value” or attempt to camouflage a person’s fear or insecurity.

People also swear because they feel they are expected to or because swearing has become a habit. But just because swearing plays all these roles doesn’t mean it’s socially acceptable.

In many English-speaking communities, expletives also carry connotations of lower classes and lower economic standing. Although people from every economic level use swearwords, many people associate their use with people of lower income and education.

So what’s wrong with swearing? Swearing isn’t just a social taboo. It imposes a personal penalty. It gives a bad impression of you. It makes you unpleasant to be with. It endangers your relationships. It’s a tool for whiners and complainers. It reduces the respect people have for you. It shows you don’t have control. It’s a sign of a bad attitude. It discloses a lack of character. It show that you are immature. It reflects your ignorance and it sets a bad example especially to younger children.

Swearing is bad for society too. It contributes to the decline of civility. It represents the dumbing down of the world. It offends more people than you think. It makes others uncomfortable. It is disrespectful of others. It turns discussions into arguments. It can be a sign of hostility and it can lead to violence.

And, swearing corrupts the English language. It’s abrasive, lazy language. It doesn’t communicate clearly. It neglects more meaningful words. It lacks imagination and it has lost its effectiveness.

So the next time you feel the urge to swear try one of these tips.

Pretend that your sweet little grandmother or a young child is always next to you. Use inflections for emphasis instead of offensive adjectives. Look to the bright side. A positive mental attitude not only eliminates lots of swearing, it brings you contentment and brightens your personality. Stop cussing and learn to cope. Consider even the smallest annoyance a challenge, and feel proud of yourself for taking care of it cheerfully and efficiently. Before you start griping or whining about something, remind yourself of a very important reality: no one wants to hear it! Why would they?

English is a colorful language. Take the time to develop your own list of alternatives to the nasty words you now use, relying on your own intelligence, a thesaurus, good books, and even some of the more clever TV shows. Select a few powerful or even funny words, and get in the habit of substituting them for swear words. Some substitute words can be just as offensive if your tone is abrasive or you insult someone. Take the time to make your point in a mature and convincing manner.

Breaking the swearing habit might prove to be no easier that losing weight, giving up cigarettes, or correcting any other habit. It takes practice, support from others, and a true desire to be a better person. I have faith that you can do it!

The foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean and low that every person of sense and character detests and despises it. –George Washington

These are interesting times.

C. Carol Brown

On October 28, 2008, the Ontario government tabled legislation that will ban text messaging and emailing while driving and force motorists to use hands-free cell phones on the road. 

A similar ban already exists in Newfoundland-Labrador, Quebec and Nova Scotia – and legislation has been put forward in Prince Edward Island and Manitoba. Alberta rejected a cell phone ban earlier this year. A few states in the U.S. have a ban, as do many countries including Australia, France, Germany, Hong Kong, India, Ireland, Israel, Poland, Portugal, Russia, Spain, Turkey and the UK.

Opponents of the ban say that if cell phones are banned then so should applying makeup while driving, talking to someone else in the car, listening to the radio or eating a burger.

Supporters of the legislation say that too many lives are at stake due to these distractions, and safety should come first. 

Some of the rudest electronic device experiences have happened during meals, especially in restaurants with dinner partners ignoring you to answer calls or return email, diners talking too loudly or cell phones ringing incessantly.

At the movies, people ignore the “turn off electronic devices” message and take phone calls. Some are too inconsiderate to leave the room or switch their phones to vibrate.

In a business setting such as during an interview, meeting or a conference, coworkers are often busy texting or taking calls instead of giving their attention to why they were required to be in attendance.

Most embarrassing is having to listen to someone engaged in a fight and/or yelling while in a public place. You feel as a voyeur and are often drawn in as a moth to a flame.

Queues being held up by someone trying to text or talk are also  nuisances and cell phones ringing in serene or high etiquette settings such as a wedding, church, funeral, hospital, or a classroom are just plain rude. And finally, the ultimate invasion of privacy occurs when phones ring in the bathroom. The receiver often answers the phone and proceeds to tell the caller that they are in the bathroom but doesn’t end the call.

The reality of this situation is that most of the conversations taking place do not necessarily have to happen when they do. The conversations are not elevated ones designed to make the world a better place. They don’t discuss ideas for improving even the lives of the participants. Electronic devices have people moving together but operating in silos.

If you must answer your electronic device, here’s how to be more polite:

• Let the person you are with know in advance that you are expecting an important call or email
• Say “excuse me” and move away from the setting and don’t make them listen to the entire call or watch you compose your email
• Don’t shush the person you are speaking with to hear the call
• Allow your calls to go to voice mail and excuse yourself to take the time to return the call or email
• Avoid taking more than one call or returning more than one email in any situation that has a finite time (e.g.: a 20-minute lunch)
• Answer and make quick arrangements to call back
• Don’t check caller ID and then not take the call

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.  If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use. - Emily Post

These are interesting times.

 C. Carol Brown

The Great Depression in the United States began on “Black Tuesday” with the Wall Street crash of October, 1929 and rapidly spread worldwide. The market crash marked the beginning of a decade of high unemployment, poverty, low profits, deflation and lost opportunities for economic growth and personal advancement. It is thought that the basic cause of the Great Depression was a sudden loss of confidence in the economic future and a combination of high consumer debt, ill-regulated markets that permitted malfeasance by banks and investors, cutbacks in foreign trade, and growing wealth inequality, all interacting to create a downward economic spiral of reduced spending and production.  

The recent declines in the financial markets have many people losing hours of sleep worrying about their investment and retirement plans. These declines have people thinking there will be a shortage of money and that we are heading into another depression akin to the Great Depression and they should hoarde what little they have left.

But the truth is actually very different. The truth is that there is more than enough money to make the world go around. Abundance is our natural state–not lack.

In the book The One Minute Millionaire: The Enlightened Way to Wealth by Mark Victor Hansen and Robert G. Allen they teach about the Enlightened Millionaire. One of their “AHA!” moments explains the power of Giving as the highest form of manifestation of our truest nature. They tell us to donate the first 10% of all we earn to charities and churches in our communities. Why? Because giving multiplies prosperity a thousand times. Take a look as some of the biggest givers–Oprah Winfrey, John D. Rockerfeller, Andrew Carnegie and Bill Gates. They continue to be prosperous and in fact attain more prosperity each year.

The authors believe that the more you give, the more you’ll get because giving gives the greatest return on your money. Giving expands money much as water expands when it is heated. Giving magnifies, multiplies and exponentializes money. Conversely, the tighter you squeeze, the smaller and tighter money becomes. Remember Scrooge before the ghosts visited? But you must give from an attitude of gratitute and abundance. Giving is a seed that continues to produce, not just for you, but also for those around you.

In this time of negative newspaper headlines and special reports about the bleak future of our finances, think about turning off the television, or not reading the newspaper. This will help to keep your thoughts and emotions positive. Rather, think about charities or foundations to which you can contribute or someone you may know that can use some financial help. Give to someone or something that needs your support. You’ll be surprised at what you get back.

You must give to get, You must sow the seed, before you can reap the harvest.–Scott Reed

These are interesting times.

C. Carol Brown